Jungle camoflage-Bears Packers highlights

Image by Getty Images via DaylifeSo despite what my inaugural vlog post implied, I was not at Blondies for the Packers-Bears game this afternoon. I was directed to a bar on "83rd and 3rd." This bar turned out to be Gael Pub, which turned out to be a Bears bar. I'd been duped.

Luckily, I anticipated such a move from my Chicago friend (a Rahm Emanuel constituent, may I add), and wore a bright orange shirt to the bar, hence the post title. I also surprisingly kept my mouth shut throughout the slaughtering of the Bears that ensued. I somehow made it out of the bar without getting my ass kicked. That's a success.

Basically, if Ryan Grant and the Packers can run like this from now on, the Packers are winning the division. Period.

I'm pretty sure Rex Grossman's best role for the Bears now is designated Hail Mary quarterback. Also, Kyle Orton is a f*cking drunk psychopath.

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Tynan's Anger Webcast: Hey, I'm actually a human!

In other words, I need a better camera than iSight. I'll also piss off Gary V by referring to the Packers as "we." (The Jets are "we" too!)
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But what do you think? How important is it to make human connections in the blogosphere? Are writers always this detached from their writing?

The Football Professor

I think I have myself a new favorite football player. Meet Tennessee Titans kick returner/defensive specialist Chris Carr, lover of Woody Allen films, aspiring law student or professor, book nerd (predominantly sci-fi, history, and philosophy) and part-time magician. He had a 4.0 GPA at Boise State, which already makes him one of the best things to come out of Idaho this century (the Larry Craig scandal is #1, of course). Part of me actually wants him to fail at football so he can be surrounded by people who read things other than playbooks and porn mags, while part of me wants him to be the greatest football player ever. I never thought I could seriously ask a professional football player whether he thought Deconstructing Harry stood on the same level as classic Allen material. (via Deadspin).

The Jets Needed Favre...in 1992

Will Leitch shows just how pathetic the Jets' quarterback situation has been in the years since they missed out on drafting Brett Favre by one pick in 1992. The year by year breakdown reached its apex of misery in 1996:

1996
FRANK REICH, NEIL O’DONNELL, GLENN FOLEY
Jets cut Esiason, win only one game. Kotite “steps down” after the season. Favre wins the Super Bowl.
Jets QB Stats: 3,911 yards, 22 TDs, 30 INTs.
Favre Stats: 3,899 yards, 39 TDs, 13 INTs.
Advantage Favre? Yes!

While it's another excellent feature by Leitch at his new digs, we've become worried that the humble Midwesterner has embraced the more cynical world of the New York sports media. And yes, we just plundered Leitch's royal "we."

How the Jets Could Have Used Brett Favre Over the Past Sixteen Years [New York]

Brett Favre-related head explosion on hold

Despite the Jets putting in the best offer for Brett Favre, he does not want to play for them. And thus, I weigh the pathetic quarterback situation of the Jets against the possible brain hemorrhage that would come with Favre in a Jets uniform.